Collateral Beauty
by Valexian rose
Summary: A collection of One-Shots done in a catharsis of emotion or deep thought. Read at will, Kylo and Rey's relationship has never been usual, nor has it ever been linear in its progression.
1. Nothing More

She thought about him, about his fiance, and then about her own man, so patient and sweet waiting for her back home. Yet here she was, betraying him at another 'late night' at work. She didn't deserve him, her hands caught her lovers, the soon to be married man, the words fell from her lips in a hushed dribble, "This is wrong,"

"Then why does it feel so right?" His fingers squeezed her exposed thighs, he always did this, pulled her further into the abyss of lust uncaring of her personal sacrifices and feelings.

* * *

It was supposed to be an arrangement, devoid of emotion and attachment, it wasn't ever lovemaking, it wasn't selfless, it was purely driven by lust and carnal need. Rey recognized this, it was just the meeting of flesh to satisfy an itch that others in their romantic bed could not. She knew that it was nothing more, she knew that he had a life of his own outside of her.

She too had a life of her own, a boyfriend, a cat, an apartment that she wanted to repaint and refurbish. There was no logical reason why she was upset when she learned he was engaged.

Perhaps it was the way she learned of it, a passing comment of gossip from one of her coworkers not directly talking to her. Maybe it was the confirmation that irked her, the nonchalant nod and grunt of verification. It stung inside, distracted her from the ruthlessness of pace, her fingers gripped the sheets so hard her knuckles were white.

Her fingers trembled as she buttoned up her white shirt, and he noticed, a raised eyebrow, nothing more, he didn't care to inquire about her mental or emotional state. It was just the pleasures of the flesh, nothing more.

Nothing more.

Going home to her boyfriend, her loyal and sweet boyfriend had been hell that day, torn up and conflicted over this pain in her chest that shouldn't exist. He could tell, his dark gaze soft and welcoming, he wouldn't ask, not because he didn't care but because he respected her privacy, that she would tell him when she was ready.

Over dinner when she couldn't stand his puppy-like imploring, he was too gentle, too patient, too contrasted to the two hours of pleasure and pain that she had experienced at an "office meeting". He was everything her boss was not, and she loathed that she wished he wasn't. She told him that there had been some schedule changes, that it looked like she was going to stay after more often like he could be so easily fooled.

What made her hate the feeling in her chest more was how easily he agreed, pushing her on toward success, her boss couldn't care about her future, only the now, only what she could give him.

She didn't know if she liked how she was controlled by her boss, or if she loathed it. Every time she returned to the gentle touches she'd recoil away, burned by the tenderness, confused by her body and its desires.

Then the guilt and the shame, the kind that ate at her insides as she hid in the shower from her patient boyfriend, one that knew the word "no", one that gave her space when she was tired.

With him, there was no _tired_ , it wasn't over until he said. And if she dared to say no, to shy away when she felt it inappropriate, he'd grab her forcefully by the wrists and bend her over his knees, showing her just how little the word meant to him. He'd punish her in his own twisted ways until that soft coo of resistance became a mewling plea for more.

Rey slept on the couch that night, unable to spend a minute in bed with a man she had been betraying for over 4 months now.

She avoided her boss the next week, ducking into rooms with other associates that he wouldn't dare expose himself to, twisting around into elevators, shielding herself with phone calls with clientele and meetings.

Eventually her luck would run out, she didn't think it would be so soon.

It was that Friday, hardly 8 days for her to sort out the negative emotions clouding her logic. He was waiting for her, dressed in darkness by her car, she was supposed to go home early, but he had other plans.

She stopped in the streetlight, frowning at his imposing figure, at the dark locks of hair, at his even darker and hungry eyes, she didn't want to do this today, and her first thought was one of denying him the pleasure of even looking at her.

"Don't give me that look, Mrs. Kenobi," It was down to surnames, he was unhappy with her, and he would show her the might of it somewhere nearby. It was a promise in his tone, one she knew well from her early days and skittishness.

"What are you doing in front of my car?" _Why won't you let me be?_

"You've been avoiding me, Mrs. Kenobi, care to tell me why?"

"I don't feel like playing this game," _I don't feel like sharing, knowing that I have to with any girl you choose._

"There is no _game,_ what you and I do is more than that,"

"Is it more to your fiance? Does she even know?" Her words were a mistake, his fingers gripped her wrists painfully, pulling her body flush against him, crushing her to his chest and pelvis. She looked up with a lifted chin, bold and unafraid of his charms.

"Is the mouse jealous?"

"Fuck you-" Her body was pressed hard between the cool metal exterior of her car and his chiseled heat,

"If you ask nicely," His lips ghosted over the hollow of her throat, a long and torturous path to the shell of her ear, where he bit down. Rey squirmed at the mixed feeling of pleasure and pain, trembling against her captor, her strength waning.

She thought instead of the blonde woman she'd seen flow through the office, the one with a soft face, innocent eyes and a supple body he clearly didn't use the way he did with her. Recalling the intense burn of hatred in her heart for a woman who didn't know her, it was despicable, that one man did that to her. Rey wasn't the type to hate, yet he planted a seed of distrust and paranoia in her, possessiveness, their arrangement quickly becoming a power play of dominance.

She flipped, shoving him away by the shoulders and pulling open the door to her car, only to be shoved against it as it was closed again, her ass out against his hardening bulge, his voice low and hot on her neck, "It's always better when you're feisty," His hands traveled up the length of her inner thigh, fingertips brushing her core.

Her own fingers clipped against the door handle and she was in the driver's seat away from him. Pushing the keys to the ignition and about to pull away when he climbed into her car. Rey huffed a growl, "I don't want to do this anymore,"

"Drive," She did as she was told. Pulling out of the parking complex and around the city into darker more remote areas. She knew already where he wanted them to go. The entirety of the drive comprised of his fingers slipping into her panties, caressing in and between her moistening folds.

Her body was pushed into the back seat as soon as the engine was killed, her legs spread and shoes kicked off. She twisted, trying to squirm into a more dignified position, but his hand came down and gripped her hair, forcing her face into the leather of her back seat.

Rey thought again of her boyfriend, of his fiance, of the life she could have had if she hadn't met him. If she hadn't fallen for his charms and worked into his bed. She wondered what would happen if her boyfriend found out, if he ever did, sometimes she hoped that she might have an excuse.

She wondered if Ren would care, what of his fiance? What would happen between them? A sick heat swirled in her stomach, an uncomfortable feeling, regardless of how possessive Rey was of him, she would not be _that_ woman.

Her pantie hoes were down around her knees, and her panties quickly followed, as usual, he wasted no time. Rey wondered then, would he ever be a considerate lover, had they met under different circumstances? She heard his belt click as he undid the leather, whipping it out from the loops with a single motion. His hands were on her then, sliding under her skirt, pushing it up, he was so close to touching her, so close to where her body burned for him.

"This is wrong," She mumbled, her fingernails scraping the seats to the back of her car. He didn't even take pause, "Then why does it feel so good?" She didn't have an answer. Perhaps there was an undeniable chemistry between them that outweighed logic and morality. Yes, that was it, she could blame it on simple pleasures of the flesh, it wasn't like she cared or anything.

He slid her shirt up and unclasped her bra, "Kylo," He stopped then, she wasn't one to say his name, she never had, even at work, always used his last name. She took a slow breath of air, "I can't do this anymore," She heard a huff of a laugh, she couldn't believe she was saying it either, her body was clearly sending another message, one that she had followed for months to no further development where it counted.

When she said nothing further and let the silence between them grow tense, he leaned back and slid her skirt back over her rump. Rey bit her lip and pressed her face into her forearms, "I don't want to see you anymore," She whispered, and in the deafening quiet of the car, she knew he heard her. She listened to the shuffle of clothing as he fixed himself, and she slowly slid closer to the door, pulling up her own undergarments and doing the same.

Her eyes flicked over to him, at how controlled and collected he was, all power and passion held back. Her lips twitched into a soft smile, one of sadness. He regarded her then, a strange look on his face, one of awe and something she had never seen on anyone's face before. She wondered what it was that made him look at her that way.

Rey pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear and crawled back into the driver's seat. Ren followed shortly behind, his face a mask of impassiveness. She drove him back to the car park, finding a spot and waiting. The vehicle hummed around her, and she found it comforting, "Ren-" She said, stopping suddenly, unsure of what to say, or how to say it. What did one say to their recently removed lover? He was looking at her again, a very unhappy expression on his lips, but his eyes said curiosity, they said sadness and disappointment, "Ren, do you love your fiance?"

"What kind of question is that?" He said with a scoff as if it were obvious. Rey squeezed the steering wheel,

"An honest one,"

"I'm going to marry her," He stated, a fact, nothing more,

"But do you love her?" She didn't know why she wanted an answer, maybe it was the desire that he told her yes. If he told her yes then she could pull away and say, 'oh he loved someone else,' rather than wallow in questioning, asking, what ifs. She pressed her lips together, he said nothing to her for a long time.

He got out of her car suddenly, eyes angry and filled with confliction. She wanted to reach for him, she wanted to ask what was wrong, but she was just his personal assistant and secretary, she was just an employee. Nothing more.

* * *

 _Hello, I'm creating a collection of Short Stories centered mainly around Rey and Kylo Ren, either of their relationship with each other or those around them. I am willing to accept prompts suggested in the comments, but I've never done requested writing before, so bear with me if it's not exactly as you envisioned. These shorts will range from K+ to M, thus rating it an M just in case I get too descriptive._

 _Thank you for reading, have a good day :)_


	2. Wizard Of Weird

_New kid on the block, of course, every new kid is labeled as weird, especially if this kid comes from the desert, can kick as much ass at sports as she can at art, and has no social skills. Rey doesn't mind though, she lives up to every bit of weird people throw at her._

* * *

Rey started seeing him sometime around her third year in High School, he was both hard to miss and easy to displace. He was like a black knight, ever vigilant of his surroundings, watching over the fair maidens of the school yard during the lunch hours. Rey had never seen anyone like him before, but that could be excused by her upbringing. Either way, for better or worse, she found herself attracted to him in the way that magnets were on opposite poles.

She sought him out, a fresh face in a new school and taking the first step to talk to someone that wasn't her foster sister, Rose.

It was in the middle of a busy hallway, nothing marvelous, but in that moment, she decided that he was. Up close he was even more stunning, the hardened face of a warrior with his sharp eyes and strange features. She wanted to take a picture of him, she wanted to take his face and stare at it until she had it memorized, convinced that it might change.

He was uncomfortable though, and she did not realize just how intensely she had been wordlessly staring at him. His tall frame hunched back in the lockers defensively as she leaned into his breathing bubble. How uncouth of her. Rey slanted her lips and got out a string of words, "Oh I'm sorry, I'm Rey, you're very interesting to look at, can I have a photo of you so I can stare at you more?" Instantly she wanted to slap herself. Who said that? _Ever?_

If he was taken aback by it, he did not let it show on his fascinating face. Instead, with all the grace of a knight, he offered her a kind curl of his lips and dipped his head in greeting, "Hello Rey," He relaxed back into the lockers, looking cool and cornered at the same time, like an iron maiden, uncomfortable and intriguing, "Is that normally how you ask for someone's picture?" She had the decency to blush,

"Well-no-I-You see..." She bit her tongue and frowned, what was wrong with her?

Movement moved her gaze from the floor to his hands, oh my, his hands were marvelous too. Rey bit her tongue harder, eyes widening before she snapped them shut, staring was unpolite, and clearly, this poor guy was trying to humor her. She opened her eyes when she was sure she was done wondering what his thin and deft hands were capable of.

He was holding a phone out to her, _his_ phone. Rey's eyebrows came to a slow knit together, her lips parted, but he answered before she could ask, "You're a photographer then, you can have a picture of me if I get to have a copy," She stared up at him then, unsure of how to express the swirling confusion and joy in her chest. Instead, she took the phone and typed in a series of numbers and wrote her name, then, she pulled up the camera and went into full photographer mode.

Leaning back forty-five degrees, pivoting her foot, backpack hanging close to the floor off her arm, all she could focus on was how gorgeous he was. The picture to most people probably looked like nothing special, but the shot of him leaning carefree and confident against the school lockers was close to a gift to Rey. Eagerly, she sent herself the photo.

It really was something, the light needed a little tampering, and it could do with some contrast of shadows due to his dark clothing, dark hair and eyes. She blinked, well, everything about him was dark. She smiled to herself a little, what a fun picture to play with, the nuances stood out like a sore thumb to her, the slight curvature of his lips, the flow, and movement of his body, the way his hair curled around his ears.

Rey was so focused on the picture, that she didn't realize the real thing was looming over her shoulder with curiosity on his face. She nearly jumped out of her skin, and she was pretty sure she stopped breathing. He smelled amazing. She wanted to stick her face in whatever he was wearing and run away with it. She blushed at the thought, what kind of special creep would that make her?

His breath was soft on her skin when he spoke, "Very nice, you have some skill lady Rey,"

"A-and how shall I address a knight such as you?" she blurted, his nickname for her switching her brain to nerdom. She grit her teeth, he was going to recoil and say how weird she was and take back the photo from her. He didn't. Instead, he moved slowly around her, body tall and limber. The guy _bowed_ to her. A show in the middle of the hallway that attracted attention that would make most squirm with discomfort, he didn't. He was just as bold as he was reserved. Just who was this fantastic man? "Ben Solo," He told her, giving her another one of his slight smiles before he bid her farewell, "And you are about to be late to class Lady Rey," She gasped, eyes going wider than an owls, and she spun on heel, dashing for her English-lit class, doing her best to focus on the task at hand rather than the dark and haunting figure of a man she left alone in the hall.

* * *

Rey didn't see him the rest of the day, she supposed that it was for the best, she seemed to forget how to speak around him and hadn't a clue as to what that would entail if they decided to sit and have a normal conversation. Rey walked her bike home, pushing it up a large hill and stopping atop it, mounting her bike, and riding down the rest of the way in a flash. She wondered if Ben Solo liked to feel the wind in his hair like she did.

Maz was in the kitchen with some of her old friends from different places, they were playing a game of cards, chips and even small items were on the table. Maz gave Rey a gentle nod and smile before going back to the game, Rey took off her worn sneakers and socks and trudged into the laundry to stip her clothes.

Rose was already in the room, her clubs for the day having been canceled. She looked up from her engineering manual and gave Rey a bright smile, "How was track?"

"Legs are jelly, the new coach is a jerk, hurdles suck," Rey mumbled, slipping her bag off her shoulder and placing it on the floor by her desk. She looked up at the wall of printed photos and was reminded of Ben Solo. Rey turned and caught Rose's attention, flopping on the girl's bed and laying over her legs, earning a series of groans and protests from her foster sister, "Rey you're gross and sweaty get off me!" She was laughing though,

"Take a look at my new project," Rose put her book down over her face, pretending to snore,

"I'm sleeping, no energy for another Rey project," Rey slapped the book off playfully and put her phone on Rose's face,

"See how great it is?! See?!" She pushed it against her face. Rose squealed with laughter and wiggled in the bed until she was sitting up and holding Rey's phone in her lap with great care, staring hard at the picture with a smile that slowly faded. This was new, Rose never downright _frowned_ at one of Rey's pictures. She leaned forward on the bed, crossing her legs tighter under her, "You don't like it?"

"How did you get this?" Rose asked her, tone serious,

"What's wrong with it?" Rey asked, trying to reach for her phone,

"You don't know who this is?" Rey stopped, pursing her lips and furrowing her brows, what kind of question was that? "Rey this is Kylo Ren,"

"Kylo Ren?" Rey asked, suddenly worried that she had messed up. Rose took one look at her face and sighed, "I forget that you're still new to the area, Kylo Ren is the residential bad boy, picking fights, stealing cars, smoking on campus and being a general nuisance. He's bad news, and most people that get involved with him end up going to Juvenile Hall,"

"But he wasn't like that at all," Rey mumbled, frowning at this new information,

"Was he on campus?"

"Yes," Rey said slowly,

"Figures, even graduated he thinks he owns the place," Rose frowned at the picture, and then gave Rey a hopeless look, "Just try to stay away from him, he's no good Rey."

* * *

Rey spent a good 20 minutes in the shower just thinking. Her eyes trained on the drain, watching the water swirl before being consumed by the darkness of the pipes. Ben Solo was Kylo Ren, why would he lie about his name? Had he acted the way he did to taunt her on her ignorance? She suddenly felt foolish, of course, she would get caught up in someone dangerous. It was like strangeness was in her name, and she couldn't shake it.

She sat at her desk, staring at the wall of photos for a long time, wishing that her past subjects could come forth and give her some advice. Clearly, Rose knew more about his Ben-Kylo person than she did, maybe Rey ought to listen for once and save herself some trouble. Rey's eyes fell down to the glowing screen of her phone, a soft vibration gaining her attention from the photos, a message splayed at the top of her screen. She inhaled sharply, "How's the photography going?" it read, she leaned down slowly, forehead resting against her desk with her phone in her lap. Should she text back? Could she?

Her fingers moved on their own accord, pressing send before she could read what she wrote. The little grey message popped up and she bit her tongue, "I need more reference photos," The urge to grow a third arm for slapping was strong within her. Rey cursed herself, wanting to drop her phone like it was on fire. It _was_ hot, was that her? Was Rey the one overheating? Over what, over this guy? The old Rey would have rolled her eyes and laughed.

A message came, "I pick the place this time, same rules as last time, I get the photos you take"

"I'll bring my camera this time"

"Fancy"

"Only the best for my projects"

"Now don't I feel special"

"You should, it's a great honor to hear the click of the Rey Camera" Rey stilled, gods why was she such a nerd? She had this habit of being a dork without really trying, and as humorous as it was, it was often times more unfortunate than fortunate for her. She sighed and stared at the phone, waiting for a response to tell her that she wasn't as weird as she sounded. Nothing came. Her phone went dark in her patience, and Rey looked up, a red mark on her face as the blood rushed back to it.

She got up and saved her progress on her newest muse, closing her operating programs and then her laptop. She clicked off her lamp, falling into her bed a few feet away, she stared at the wall having mixed feelings about this knight character. She closed her eyes, whatever it was she was feeling about it all, it could wait until she had slept. Suddenly her cheek vibrated, and her hand pulled her phone from her pillow, clicking on the screen and squinting hard at the light. A text from the knight, "I will hold that honor as a knight until incident befalls me, Lady Rey" She smirked and almost giggled, if she was a dork, he was a wizard.

* * *

He wanted to meet her in a park, late in the evening with the sun hanging behind the trees and painting the sky orange. She had nothing better to do, perhaps because she canceled the rest of her plans for the day. She wondered why it was that he picked a park, and why at night. At first, she assumed he'd murder her and steal the single photo of him from her. That was quickly dismissed.

She stepped on a twig on the beaten path and looked up and around, afraid to have disturbed anything, she saw movement, a tall darkness swaying confidently toward her. Ben Solo's voice was a welcome sound in the wind of the early night, "You came,"

"I couldn't pass up an opportunity to take more great photos," Rey said, hand touching her camera. Ben gave her his strange half-smile, eyes crinkling slightly in the corners. He fell in step with her and led her around a small grove of trees, she heard laughter and loud conversation, it hadn't occurred to her that there would be others.

She looked over at him then, and noticed in the darkness that he wore a dark red scarf, she liked that color on him, it made his eyes stand out, he looked at her then, "You should wear red more often," She told him, watching the way his eyes danced in the darkness, "A royal color for a knight," His lips did the thing, and she smiled back.

There were several other people around the bonfire, they all had some drink or snack in their hand, a few even sported cigarettes. She found herself pressing closer to Ben, their arms brushing, she stepped back and frowned awkwardly, Ben did the talking, "This is Rey, she's going to be joining us tonight," A few people cheered and others gave her a nod and welcome. A girl walked over to her, "Here, try this," A drink unopened was passed to her, and Rey twisted her lips to the side, "Uh, I don't drink,"

"OH! Well, we have plenty of other stuff, it's over in the cooler," She said with an understanding smile, and Rey wondered just what she was really doing there. The girl then looked down, eyes catching the reflective film of her camera, "Oh! You're a photographer!" She gushed, a few other people looked up at the pair. Suddenly a hand came for her camera and she stumbled back, hitting something hard and stopping.

Ben's hand was grasping the girl's wrist, "It's an expensive piece of equipment, and unless you plan on paying her back for any damages, don't touch it," the girl blanched and slid away into the crowd. Rey let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, relaxing back into Ben. She looked up then, realizing that he was looming over and around her. He was so big. She blushed, "Why are you so tall? It's weird,"

"Speak for yourself shorty, I like being tall," His face did something then, and she lifted her camera, flipping off the lens cover and snapping a few rapid frame shots of his face hovering over her in the firelight. She looked down at the screen, smiling as a look of shock develops on his face in each frame. His hair brushes her ears as he looks over her shoulder, "I like that one," He brushes his hand against her wrist to point, and Rey then realizes, just how close he's gotten to her.

"I um, I'm gonna go take more pictures," She says suddenly, her face hot, and she can't figure out if it's the fire or him. She steps off into the woods nearby to cool down and catch her breath. What is this? This hot feeling swirling in her chest, like her heart is squeezing and swelling at the same time. Rey pressed a hand to her forehead, she was there to take pictures, whatever this was, she would figure it out later.

Throughout the night Rey gets a few candid shots of Ben in his crowd of people, laughing through his nose and sipping from a label she doesn't recognize. Midnight rolls around, and many of the partygoers have left to return to a warm bed, and she herself is shivering in the cold, despite the heat of the fire.

She sits on a log in front of the fire, listening to the fire and the noise of conversation and music, the steady beat comforting her. her fingers click on what could be close to 100 photos. She sighs, getting rid of faulty and out of focus shots, and she realizes, that in one of them, he looked up at her as she pressed the shutter, his eyes were molten in the light of the fire. She bit her lip, he looked like he was peering into her soul, coaxing her emotions and deepest thoughts from her person with a single look. A twig snapped, and she looked up. Ben stood with his label in hand, a curious expression on his face.

Rey patted the log invitingly, and Ben sat beside her slowly, his knee touching hers, "You're shivering,"

"Am I?" She looked down at her legs, they were trembling, but not from being cold, Rey blushed, "I'm not used to the cold," Wordlessly, Ben reached up and slipped his scarf from his shoulders in a single motion. His label placed on the ground as he leaned over, putting his arms around her, wrapping Rey in his scarf. He leaned away, satisfied with his lip twitch and eye crinkle, Rey blushed, "I got lot's of photos, I can't send them to you from my camera,"

"I can give you my email,"

"They'll take a few days to process,"

"Then I can see you in the meantime," She looked up, his nose brushing hers.

Rey froze, sharing a bubble of air with the enigmatic and confusing Ben Solo, his gaze was heated, flicking over the features of her face, pausing on her lips, on her rosy cheeks, and then, pinning her in place with his eyes. Rey gripped the tree bark beneath her, he leaned in, brushing his lips over her jaw, right next to her lips.

When Ben pulls away, his eyes are glossy with want, and Rey is sure her heart exploded. Ben looks down, eyelashes brushing his cheeks, she sees a tint of pink on the tips of his ears, "I'm sorry," He says suddenly, "I'm a little drunk, and I think you're beautiful,"

"Beautiful?" She echoes, lips parted in shock,

"No," He says then, "Stunning," His eyes find hers again, "Beautiful doesn't do you justice,"

"You think... I'm..." She doesn't think, she doesn't formulate words, she just swallows the saliva that has built up on her tongue and stares owl-like at the fire. They both fall into a strange kind of silence, no one has _ever_ called Rey beautiful, or stunning.

Someone came to stand before Rey, they were dark clothed like Ben, she looked up, readying her camera. Her eyes caught flame red hair and a snarky face, Rey tried not to frown, how ordinary. His blue eyes glinted with a sharp judgment, "Where did you pick this one up?" He asked, not to her, but to Ben. Ben made a sound beside her, an angry scoff, or perhaps a snarl, "Fuck off Hux," Rey blinked, swear words sounded appropriate coming from Ben's lips, and she wasn't sure why. She wanted to hear him say it again, specifically to this ginger.

The redhead, Hux, smirked behind the rim of the bottle, sipping it like tea, "I've noticed this one likes to take pictures, care to share?" Something told her not to let go of her camera, she pressed it closer to her chest and held it tighter, "I don't share photos,"

"Well that's hardly fair, I'm sure I'm the star of many of them, I deserve at least a peak,"

"No, you don't," She huffed, feeling herself tip into dangerous territory, she couldn't remember the last fight she had, there had been so many they all blurred together, but now her fingers were itching to dig into his pasty face. Hux frowned and bent to grab her camera from her, Rey stood, Ben stood, and suddenly Hux was on the ground a few feet away.

Her hand stung.

Ben was the one to speak, level and angry, "She said no, Hux," Rey looked down at her hand, blood was smattered over her knuckles, she glanced at the asshole named Hux and saw, delightfully, that his nose was gushing with the red substance.

A hand was on hers then, and Ben was pulling her away from the bonfire. They marched hurriedly through the darkness of the park, back to a trail, his hand squeezing hers the whole time. They stopped when she tripped over her own feet, so caught up in staring at the way his shoulders moved that she lost track of the path. Ben twisted and caught her, how cliche, Rey grinned at it, "Hux is an asse," Ben blinked, the twitch happening again,

"Yes," He agreed, pulling her up steady and walking slower beside her, "If you didn't hit him I would have,"

"Your hands are too pretty to be bothered with his starchy face," She said absently, staring at their feet as they walked.

"Rey," She looked up at Ben Solo, and he was looking down at her, she liked the way he said her name, "Go out with me,"

"What?" She laughed, a bubble in her throat that wouldn't stop,

"Is that a no?"

"Why would you go out with me?" She wasn't asking for her benefit, she was curious, he made a face.

"You said I was fascinating without doing yourself the justice, Lady Rey," She took a breath,

"Wouldn't a knight such as yourself seek to court a lady than sweep her from the floor?"

"I suppose you're right," He fell into it, his lips doing a thing, pulling to the side, his tongue swiping his lip, "But I'm slightly drunk and impatient, and I think you'd enjoy it,"

"By 'it' you mean you?"

"Well that's part of the package," He said cheekily, glancing at her wrapped up in his scarf. He stopped walking, standing across the street from her place,

"What more do I get in this package fair knight?" He hummed in consideration, his eyelashes sparkling in the streetlamps, she flipped off the lens cap silently, lifting the camera slowly, snapping pictures the whole way. He turned right when she was level, his eyes filled with raw desire and mischief, "You get a photo opportunity for your new project every time we go out," He supplied. Rey bit her lip, smiling at him in the streetlamp, he was gorgeous. Even slightly drunk.

"I'll consider your proposal," She told him, turning off her camera and sliding it to her side, his face relaxed into what could be restrained joy, "I've decided," She said then. Ben blinked, shocked, and she was in his bubble, "Yes," She told him, standing on her toes and gripping his shirt and shoulders, pressing her lips on his throat and chin.

"Yes?" He breathed, his deft hands slipping up around her biceps, squeezing her softly, looking down at her,

"Yes," She said,

"Can I kiss you?" He asked breathlessly, Rey giggled,

"Yes."

* * *

 _Hello, This is a bit different than what I'm used to writing, I like doing the dark and emotional stuff, but I tried my hand at something slightly humorous and fresh, let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed it._


	3. Another Piece to the Puzzle

_Rey has a conversation with herself in hopes that she might find some answers._

* * *

The Resistance had stopped planetside on some lush forest, it reminded Rey of Takodanna. They had been running from the First Order for what felt like an eternity, time seemed to pass slower in space. Rey was happy to touch the ground again, even if she did love The Falcon, the metallic hum of the engines were starting to push her mind too far. She felt alone in the hull full of other people.

Everyone had been so happy to meet her, eager to call her a Jedi for her stunt in rescuing them. All of them had dubbed her a beacon of hope, no longer a myth, she was now considered a not so secret weapon against the First Order, or more appropriately, Kylo Ren. She didn't know how she felt about that.

In truth, Kylo Ren had been eating her up inside, she felt him, a constant lull at the back of her mind, often snapping and angry, snarling like a beast at her heels when she ran. Other times, it was a soft almost restful presence, she imagined that he would be asleep in these moments. A moment like this one, where Rey was left to finally breathe on the world.

Her boots dug into the dirt as she marched deeper into the wet and muggy forest. She couldn't see more than a few yards ahead or behind her, but she decided that if someone were to jump her, they were at the same disadvantage. She was traveling with her bow staff, one she made and had taken with her from Jakku, and when she made it to a clearing large enough, she fell into her practiced stances, going through the motions and falling into a hyper-focused state that had nearly been impossible with Kylo Ren's constant pressure in her mind.

Her muscles stung, but the heat moving through her body pulsed outwards, her focus projecting onto the surface around her, things she could not see before were suddenly clear in the fog. She danced through the forms, body twisting, wind whistling with every powerful and controlled blow, she moved like the wind in the trees, sweat building on her brow. She spun in place, pivoting gracefully over roots and twisting backward, arcing her staff through the air, bringing it down with a cool elegance and halting in her actions.

She opened her eyes, huffing slowly, deeply, sweat dripping down her brow, she stood erect slowly, muscles tweaking along her spine. She ached in places she hadn't before and relaxed in others. She felt... Almost at peace. The kind that provided a level head after a conflict, the kind that made her fall into a meditative position, and she simultaneously projected and concealed herself. Becoming one with the energies of the muggy forest around her, hiding in the trees and the brush, zeroing against the ground, no one could find her if they tried, force sensitive or otherwise.

Rey sought answers to the conflict she had physically worked from her system, now it was a mental battle. Why Kylo Ren? Why her? Why did the force pick a _nobody_ to bring about balance? What was this _bond_ with Kylo Ren? What was the purpose of it all? The meaning? She hadn't expected the answer in the form that it came.

A soft breeze fluttered against Rey's skin, and she opened her eyes, no longer in the same forest, but still surrounded by mist. What sat before her, mirroring her, was an energy opposite but the same to hers, one that was powerful, controlled, cool, and elegant. She shuddered and narrowed her eyes as it took form, fading in like a failed cloaking device.

A woman, much like Rey in everything physical, smiled patiently back at her. Shock and surprise rocked through Rey, the other Rey did not move, "What-"

"Hello," It said, she gave a kind smile, her eyes crinkled at the corners. Rey stared at her, cautious and stunned, searching carefully through the force for a feel of this woman, this alternate _her_. Other Rey sat very still, disciplined and calm, she wore the opposite to Rey, her robes were dark and almost sensual, revealing in a way unfit for a warrior but still befitting for a woman of class. The loose cloth pooled around her in a dark shimmer. But through this blatant display of clothing befitting of a Dark sider, Rey could not feel evil intent, nor anything malicious, in fact, the woman across from her almost seemed... Happy.

"What are you?" Rey asked, Dark Rey across from her let out a soft breath,

"That's not really important," Light Rey screwed up her face, wanting to object, "The important thing is the answers you are looking for,"

"How could you know about that?"

"You called me here,

"Fine," Light Rey surrendered, "But what _are_ you?" Dark Rey tilted her head, her long curly hair falling down around her shoulder,

"Consider Ben," Light Rey frowned at that, her heart squeezing at the mention of him. Her mind still working on the conflict they shared, the want to join him, but the necessity to protect those she cared for. Dark Rey pulled her from her thoughts, "Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, both are from the same bowl of water, but that water has cloudy distortions that are heavier in some places than others,"

"They are one in the same, but different," Rey surmised,

"You see, but you do not understand," Dark Rey told her, "Let us use that metaphor to ease your mind," Light Rey frowned for a moment, considering the woman's proposal before falling into a more relaxed position across from her. Untrusting of her, but testing the water, if she was purely a creation of the force, a reflection of herself, then seeking counsel from the source wouldn't be a bad thing.

"Let us discuss what is bothering you,"

"Everyone expects me to be the bane of Kylo Ren,"

"And you aren't sure how you should feel,"

"I know how I should behave, I understand the duty that I must fulfill,"

"Must?" Dark Rey questioned, Light Rey shot her a confused look, "Rey, have you ever considered that he might not be meant to be beaten? That a prophecy others have forced on you is wrong?"

"How could it be wrong?"

"Prophecies are tricky that way, they are simply words from the force tangible to the mind, that does not mean they represent the future, the mere existence of such a prophecy pushes the boundaries of the current time. It could be discussing the present, the past, or even the distant future, who's to say that you are part of it? Many have risen up self-entitled to the same thing,"

"You're saying I have no part in this?"

"I'm saying, no one _knows_. It's all the machinations of obsession with power or peace, such is the push and pull of the force, a balance,"

"You're not making any sense," Light Rey frowned, "He'll destroy everything, he said so himself,"

"Will he?"

"Answer my question!" Dark Rey regarded her then with a frown for the first time, a patient look in her eyes,

"Death is not something to fear Rey, death is not the end, nor is the end the end, time will continue, and thus so will everything else. If Kylo Ren becomes a destroyer of worlds, who is to stop him?" Light Rey stared at her in horror, "He is to bring about a new age, a recycling, if this ends now, who is to argue that a new light won't rise up and a darkness to meet it hundreds of years from now? It will continue, this battle has nothing to do with you, not you personally, the force has simply picked you and Kylo Ren as the harbingers of this new era, and when you become one, there will always arise another conflict to follow,"

"So it's pointless?"

"When a forest is destroyed by a hungry fire, is it the end?" Light Rey looks up, "It is not, beneath the ashes, seeds grow, and they, in time, will grow to be the forest it once was,"

"Then what do I do?"

" _We_ will meet Kylo Ren halfway, much like every embodiment of light has in the past, such is the way, a copy of a copy, a battle that has always been, and never happened, you'll understand when you see him,"

"This isn't making any sense, you're leaving me with more questions than answers," Light Rey shook her head, "If Kylo Ren won't bring about the end of everything as we know it, then what will he do if he goes unchecked? And who am I to face him? I'm nobody,"

"For whatever reason, the Force decided that you and Kylo Ren are both equal parts of each other, both unsurpassed in the connection with the Force, but equals to each other,"

"Then how do I kill him?"

"Do you want to?" Light Rey stopped then, lips parted, this was the real question, the thing that's been holding her back. His proposal to her still fresh in the forefront of her mind.

"I don't know," Dark Rey stood up then, moving forward with a skill and deadly grace that made Light Rey feel cautious, she kneeled down, placing her hands on Light Rey's shoulders,

"Rey," Their eyes met, "Be careful when taking thing's at face value, what others desire of you might not be what is meant to be, regardless of what you are _supposed_ to do, test the limits of what you _can_ do instead,"

"I don't have to kill him,"

"And you know he won't do so to you," Dark Rey said with a fond smile, "You've known since you shot at him,"

"But I _can_ bring a balance another way," Light Rey said softly, starting to understand. It was so simple that she had ignored it. Other people expectations be damned, the war could fall into oblivion, there was a much bigger hand at play, and Rey would cast her cards to win. Ultimately, her victory would be his, and vice versa, she only hoped that Kylo, that Ben, would understand.

When Rey looked up to thank the other woman, she was gone, all that was left was a lightness in her chest and shoulders that she had longed for.

Rey stood up slowly, breathing in deeply, appreciatively. She slung her staff over her shoulder and made way back to the Falcon, she needed to talk to Leia. She needed to tell her what really happened on that ship. She needed to tell her what needed to happen.

* * *

 _Hello, way shorter piece, but I was feeling philosophical, and I wanted to try my hand at it. I think that Rey finding the other part of herself, the part she's been trying to fight, would help her unstand that there are other ways to win a battle._


	4. Getting To Know You

_This chapter is intense and sexual, and is one of the reasons this story is rated M, please read at your own discretion._

* * *

 _S_ he didn't know Kylo Ren, not really. She never spoke to him, not those deep meaningful conversations you have with someone you want to get to know better. Instead, Rey was the type of girl to be shy, to smile and give an awkward wave whenever she saw him, her actions were understandable, she did that to everyone.

She didn't know Kylo Ren, but she'd like to. She'd like to sit down and talk to him, to pick his brain, to find out where he was from. She wanted to have an excuse to stare at him, to feel that strange disarmament she felt when he stared at her. She wanted an excuse to be close to him, and hear the deep timbre of his voice in his chest.

When Rey was a new student at the school, she was friendly, open, naive, he'd told her. The reason that she wanted to talk to him was because he was so prickly, unapproachable, intriguing. She wanted to be the one he was kind to, but their brief encounters showed that he did not feel the same way.

Sometimes it was a passing wave in the hallway, other times a bright smile in his direction. She wanted to see his lips twitch again into a smile he always held back, she wanted to watch his hands move as he spoke. He was fascinating, and despite herself, she felt drawn to him.

* * *

It persisted in her chest, swelling until it became uncomfortable, and she could no longer speak to him. Her attraction for him now apparent in her own mind, having admitted it to herself a few days prior.

Rey attended the same classes, did the same route to each one, but she couldn't bring herself to wave, to smile, it was embarrassing, and when he did nothing to initiate contact, she had to swallow the lump in her throat. Nothing was worse to a high school girl than crushing on a guy who did not feel the same. The hope simply ate at her, and her realism, after being called naive, dashed it against the wall.

For months, they did not talk, and eventually, she stopped seeing him in the halls when she walked. She told herself it was for the best, that she might spare herself the ache in her chest.

* * *

Then suddenly on a normal day, like the others that had gone on for weeks without seeing him, he showed up to the office.

Dark and brooding and glaring at everyone, except maybe her, but Rey could never be sure, Kylo marched to a chair and fell in it. Rey tried not to stare at him, occupying herself with the task the office ladies had given her. Rey couldn't help it, not when her breath grew stiff in her throat, and her face burned, he was halfway across the room, only having looked at her, and she felt this way.

It was a crush if she ever felt one. Her eyes, lazily, trailed up his body, starting from his standard black shoes, black pants, black shirt and hoodie, to his dark hair and darker eyes. He was frowning at nothing, and trying to write. By trying, it was really awkward movements with his right hand as he gripped the pen in an odd fashion. Kylo Ren was left handed, why was he...?

Her eyes landed on the grey and blue cast, "You broke your hand," Kylo stopped writing, glancing up at her, and then down to the cast, he didn't respond verbally, but by the way his eyes landed on her she knew he was curious as to why she spoke to him. Now or never, she had told herself, wetting her lips, "What happened?"

"Sporting accident," She didn't know he played sports, at least, not for the school. When he saw the look on her face, he leaned back, "Dirt bikes,"

A rough edge nudged Rey's heart, so he was a daredevil, but also reserved, quiet, almost angry. All the time. But in that moment, he had chosen to indulge her curiosity. She didn't know why, but she was glad for it.

* * *

Being early to school was a habit for Rey, being a good student she always said her good mornings to peers and staff members, to the teachers and last but not least the councilors. It was a standard morning routine that stopped suddenly because her heart swelled in her chest and a smile touched her lips. She hadn't noticed him before, and maybe that was why she stopped talking in the middle of a conversation.

The counselor followed her gaze to the dark figure hunched over a desk in the corner with his head down, "Does he always do this?"

"Sometimes, but he has this class first thing in the morning, I don't blame him," The counselor said offhandedly. Rey didn't know what possessed her, but she gravitated towards him, watching the slow rise and fall of his back while he slept. His head covered with the hood. She didn't know why she reached and touched him, but she knew that it was the one thing she desired most in that moment.

Her fingers registered the soft fabric of his clothes first, and then the heat he practically radiated. Tentatively, Rey slid her palm up along his spine, pausing at his shoulder, feeling him breathe. It was oddly intimate, and at this thought, she recoiled, stepping back from him quickly and quietly, escaping out the office door before he could wake up.

* * *

When they delivered a pass together, it was the most awkward thing. The instructions had been simple, take this vase of flowers to the farthest wing of the school on the top floor, and deliver this package and note to the same room. Rey was always the first to volunteer, but the officials saw fit to send her with someone to help carry the items. Ren, in all his broken handedness, had gone with her for whatever reason. She almost wished he hadn't come, her mind still fresh on having touched him without permission.

They walked silently, and idly, she realized just how tall he was compared to her, how small she felt. They were alone in the hallway, maybe that's what made him speak up, "You've been avoiding me," He said, there was no expression on his face to explain how he meant it.

Rey stared at him as they walked, and then looked down at the floor, blushing as the words rushed arily from her, "Probably because I don't know how to talk to you,"

"We never talked before," Kylo stopped, broken hand adjusting his hold on the box, he looked at her then and pinned her in place.

"That doesn't mean I didn't want to," She told him, shoving herself into the room to deliver the items. Following that, she made a frantic announcement that she needed to utilize the ladies room, she walked back to the office by herself, counting to ten on repeat and trying to breathe. She tried to avoid his piercing and considering stare when she sat back down on the opposite side of the room.

* * *

He ate alone, she noticed, and oftentimes, he ate nothing at all. She wondered why. And he never seemed to talk to anyone, it made her worry that he didn't have any friends. She watched him fumble with the packaging to some cookies, his left hand failing him, and his right hand becoming less dexterous the more he struggled with it. Eventually, he put the bag down and frowned at it.

Rey stood, taking her own few items of lunch with her, some crackers and an apple, and she sat next to him, watching the way he tensed up.

Gingerly, she reached over and took the bag, opening it with some force before handing it back to him. Kylo Ren stared openly at her, a hard and almost venomous look as if he were ungrateful for her assistance. But then he ate a cookie slowly and ignored her the rest of the hour. She'd take that over eating alone.

* * *

Graduation day was creeping closer to her than she'd like, she knew Kylo was a senior, she knew that her chance was coming to a quick close. She needed to know what would happen if they tried if she tried. She wanted to know if they would work out, or if he even felt the same way about her. Rey needed to tell Kylo how she felt.

He was sitting in the office, his cast finally off, and staring at his hand. She was standing a few feet away from him and it took a moment for him to notice her.

"How does it feel?" She asked,

"Hurts," He said, "It's weaker,"

"The muscle fibers in your hand haven't been used for the past two months, it will take some time," She told him, it was the most she had gotten out in one sentence to him in a while. Maybe this was a good day to do it. Kylo looked up at her, dark eyes consuming her, making that squeeze return in her chest. She had sought him out, it couldn't be for nothing. Rey gripped the strap to her bag tighter, "Can I talk to you?" He said nothing, "Somewhere else?" He looked at her then, a dark emotion on his face before he nodded and led her across the school.

They were seated on a bench under one of the many staircases about the school. A quiet alcove that left them utterly alone. Rey stared at the ground between her feet, trying to formulate the words. Kylo said nothing, just watched, she could feel his eyes burn her skin, "Gods this is harder than I thought," She said to herself, "Talking to you is difficult for me," He waited, "Because I..." _I really like you and don't want to mess this up._

"Take your time,"

"But I don't have the time, you graduate in a few weeks," she stressed, wanting to rip her hair out. She settled for running a hand through it.

"It might help if you look at me," He said, Rey shook her head, laughing to herself, looking at him would only make her feel vulnerable, it would make her mess this up,

"Looking at you makes me want to kiss you," She froze, Kylo froze, and she stopped breathing.

Rey stood up abruptly and blushed, looking away from him, "I have to get to class, thanks,"

She didn't look back at him as she walked away, staring straight ahead, but she heard him move, "Can I at least get a hug?" She stopped, her breath stinging in her chest as she held it, she wanted that hug, no, _needed_ that hug from him, and who was she to deny him? Slowly, Rey turned, walking back over to him, he met her halfway.

He slid an arm around her, his hand on the back of her head, the other around her waist and spine, she was pressed chest to chest with him. Gods he was so _warm._ Rey gripped the back of his hoodie, doing her best not to melt into his embrace, resting her chin on his shoulder as he held her.

Then it happened, a ghost of his breath on her skin made her tense up, her eyes staring straight ahead, and then, the soft pressure of his lips on the hollow of her throat, feathering down the column of her shoulder. He was _kissing_ her. Her hands tightened on his jacket, breath leaving her in a shaky sigh, his lips found a spot she didn't know existed, and she moaned.

The sound she made broke whatever spell he had put her under, and Rey pulled away from him like he was on fire. _She_ was on fire.

She blushed and looked at the ground, away from him, anywhere but him, and practically ran away.

* * *

Rey wasn't confrontational, it was why when she saw him the next day that she did her best to mind her own business, that she tried not to think of how his lips felt on her skin. Whenever she had to deliver a pass, she jumped on the opportunity, if only to breathe when he wasn't staring at her.

It appeared that Kylo was the opposite, confrontational, he went with her to deliver the pass and even held open the door for her. She felt small, and embarrassed, and naive.

They were alone, alone near the hallway that she had... that they had... She blushed again despite herself and tried to walk faster than him, trying not to notice how handsome he looked wearing all black.

Then his hand was on her shoulder, twisting her body, pushing her back into another dark area, hidden from view unless someone knew where to look. She held her breath, eyes wide and her face hot. She was trapped, her back to a wall and their hips touching.

Kylo leaned over her, arm braced on the wall beside her head, their noses touching, she could smell him, the mint of his breath, the musk of his body. She wanted to bury her face in whatever he was wearing.

He brought a hand up, touch light and careful as he moved her chin, looking up, exposing her throat. She gasped and reached for something to steady herself, evidently, that was his shoulders, his mouth had already found what he wanted. He was kissing her throat and shoulder, finding that spot again, biting down. Rey gasped helplessly, digging her nails into his clothing.

Slowly, methodically perhaps, he leaned his body against hers, and she felt it, felt _him_ getting excited. She didn't realize it would turn _her_ on.

Her lips parted and she let out quiet pants, his hands were on her waist, fingertips dipping under the hem of her shirt, gently caressing the skin of her hips. Rey shuddered, "Kylo," She felt him smile, and he looked up, dark eyes meeting hers. Heavy with something she didn't have a name for yet.

Her body was on fire, and she was so responsive to his touch, she didn't know why she shook her head, she didn't know why she denied him when he leaned down to kiss her.

Their noses bumped and she looked down and away, he was confused, she knew that much, "I can't," She said, she didn't have a good explanation, only, "I've never... Kissed someone before," His gaze was thoughtful, and he said nothing, instead, he pulled away from her and helped her smooth down her clothes.

It was when they made it to the room they were supposed to deliver a note to that he said something, "Let me take it," She looked at him, "You're blushing,"

If she wasn't already, she certainly did then.

* * *

It continued that way for a week, Kylo would find some way to get her alone, and he would skim his fingers along her body, getting so bold as to slip his hand down the back of her pants and squeeze her butt, she yelped and pushed him down into the bench, panting and blushing and shaking her head, she wasn't ready for that. She had never gotten physical with a guy before, and she was still trying to figure out if he liked her, or if he was taking advantage of her.

She liked it, she admitted that much to herself, and clearly, he did too. It was like the moment she admitted to wanting him, that something in him just unraveled and he couldn't keep his hands off her. He was no longer the restrained and angry guy, but instead a considerate and very good lover.

Lover was the word she had taken to using, mostly because he hadn't asked her out, and she didn't have the nerve to.

They were sitting quietly together at lunch one day, she had found his secret spot in the drama auditorium, up in the farthest corner, away from people.

His eyes found hers as she stood at the bottom of the stairs, her hand gripping the single strap of her backpack, "Can I come up?" He nodded and moved over one seat for her to sit between him and the wall. She was very careful not to do anything to excite him, she wanted to talk.

Kylo was relaxed in the chair, leaning back and watching the drama kids practice on stage. Rey folded her hands in her lap, "What do you plan to do? After you graduate?" He put some thought into the question, gaze flicking to her for a moment before he tilted his head, "Enlist in the military,"

"Wow," She said, she hadn't been expecting that, she blinked and took a breath, "Why? Family tradition?"

"Not really," He said, shifting in his seat, resting his hand on her armrest, "I want to better myself,"

"It's a manly thing then?" She asked, watching as his lips twitched, "When do you leave?"

"The summertime, I think," Rey tried to hide her disappointment, her chest growing cold and empty, she didn't want him to leave, for that she felt selfish. She looked up, finding that he was watching her, she gave him a pained smile, "Well, good luck, it's not going to be easy," She started to stand, but his hand caught her wrist, and he gently tugged her back down.

Rey sat very still, unsure of how to respond, "There's still time," He said to her, and she didn't know if he meant for the lunch hour, or before she would never see him again. She tried not to think about it, "What do you want to do after you graduate?"

"I want to be a cop," His face betrayed nothing, and she tried not to feel insecure, "I like helping people," She said, and they fell into a very stiff silence. Rey stared hard at her knees, contemplating her next question, it had been bugging her, "Why do you keep touching me?" He looked caught off guard, surprised even, as if the answer were obvious, then he settled, "You excite me," He told her,

"Yes but, why?"

"You're beautiful, and you said you wanted to kiss me," He said, and she blushed, of course, the second part was self-explanatory, but no one had ever called her beautiful before.

"I find you very attractive as well," She mumbled, embarrassed at how it escaped her lips, as if she couldn't come up with anything better, "You're very good at... touching me," She blushed, Gods what did she sound like to him? She found herself increasingly insecure, unsure of his opinion of her. A voice inside her said it didn't matter, but to a teenage girl, it was everything.

"Would you like me to stop?"

"No," Rey shook her head, leaning back in the seat, forcing herself to relax, "I like it," He looked like he wanted to eat her, or do something to her, in the way he leaned closer, their shoulders brushing. Rey blushed, his hand slipped down to her thigh, just resting, but the heat and pressure was enough to make her squirm.

"Can I see what you're wearing?" Kylo asked her, his voice soft, careful, and she felt compelled to answer. Rey adjusted her hips, and hooked her fingers in the loops of her pants, shimming them down just enough, her thumb finding the side strap to her underwear, they were nothing special, grey and white, and positively soaked just by sitting beside him. She heard Kylo's breath hitch and slid her pants back up, concealing her once exposed skin. She busied herself with checking the time, "We've got about 10 minutes, want to go?" She asked him, suddenly feeling emboldened by his reaction.

Kylo followed her down the steps, awkwardly fixing his pants in the corner of her eye. They made it to the central buffer, a room that was enclosed between the auditorium and the mess hall, it was small, dark, and empty, and Rey was alone with him.

Kylo tensed up when she suddenly turned, her hands on his chest and stomach, pushing him back against a wall. Their noses were touching, both were panting, Rey spoke, not recognizing her own voice, "I think I figured it out," His eyes burned into hers, and her pelvis brushed against his. Kylo moved his body to grind against her, but she held fast, kissing his chin and jawline, "You like the idea of doing me at school," His breath came out in a shaky stream, Rey smirked, feeling powerful.

He didn't touch her, mainly because he knew that he wasn't supposed to.

Rey pressed her chest against his, "I can think of a few places," She watched Kylo's eyes darken, felt his body tense as her hand moved down the hard plane of his torso, "You'd have me under the desk upstairs while you monitor the halls. Or, bent over a desk between classes... Maybe on one of the benches beneath the stairs?" He let out a shaky sigh when her fingers dipped under his belt, nails gently brushing his happy trail and lower, "Would you do it slow? Or hard and fast?"

"Both," He whispered, her fingertips brushed what she was looking for, and with concealed glee she gently massaged his hardening and twitching bulge through his boxers.

Rey stood on her toes, lips brushing Kylo's ear, "I just might let you..." She told him.

She felt him move, and before he could grab her and do her against the wall, she slipped away from him, a good distance and smiled, "But I'm a little loud in bed, wouldn't make good in an empty hallway," He stood there, his brows slightly furrowed, painfully aroused and panting softly. She knew the look in his eyes now, desire, want. Rey smiled coyly at him, biting her lip just to play with him more, "The bell is about to ring, you should fix yourself before then," She suggested, not unkindly, and fixed her own clothes.

Rey left him there, knowing that he would get her back for it later.

* * *

She wrote him a love letter a few days later, he had a weekend away from her, and perhaps had some time to calm down and keep from jumping her. She included her number in it and expressed how she really felt about him. Of course, she had written and rewritten this letter a million times before she decided that it was never going to be good enough and that she could struggle to tell him everything as long as she knew him.

The excuse she provided for her number was so they could talk while he was overseas, she received a text later that day asking her to skip class.

She didn't do it.

* * *

He found her in the office, perhaps he had been paying attention to her morning routine. Kylo stood in the corner, waiting for her to finish talking with the counselor, his hands in his jacket pockets. Rey gave him a soft smile, unsure of why he was there, "Good morning," She said, Kylo nodded,

"No one's ever written me a letter before," He told her, Rey looked up at him,

"Well, did you like it?"

"I think the term 'Lover' fits for now," He looked down at her, amusement in his eyes, truth be told, so did she, knowing that he was leaving her in a few months made her hesitant to dub him 'boyfriend' and she couldn't address him that way either, due to their primarily physical interactions.

"Walk me to class?" She asked him, he looked surprised but nodded anyway, and they marched slowly together to the top floor in the science wing.

Rey stopped him suddenly, surprising herself as she grasped his elbow. Kylo looked down at her and turned his body, a questioning look on his face, "Close your eyes," She told him, unsure of herself. Rey knew what she was doing, she just didn't know if she _could_ do it. Kylo obliged, waiting patiently with his hands in his pockets, and Rey, of course, stood there, trying to muster up her courage, "C'mon Rey just do it," She said aloud, forcing her body to move, she stood on her toes, cupping his strong jaw and pressing her lips to his.

He didn't move, or maybe, he didn't have time to get over the shock, because Rey stumbled back from him, blushing, noting that his hands had slipped from their pockets, and she gave him a smile, "I'm going to be late," She told him, and walked briskly to her morning class. Getting reprimanded by the teacher about PDA in school. It didn't keep her from smiling. She had lost her first kiss, no, _given_ it to Kylo Ren, a guy who, clearly, felt the same way about her as she did him.

It was a wonderful feeling.

* * *

 _Hello, I hope you are enjoying a longer chapter compared to the last. This one was a lot of fun to write, mostly because, well, it actually happened. This is how I met my husband. :) let me know what you think._


	5. From All The Medicine

It had been an accident, a really bad freak episode of violence at the snap of someone's fingers and suddenly people needed to go to the hospital. Maybe she should have seen the signs, the quiet moments where the air would change, or the late night phone calls where he didn't sound like himself. She should have done something, she was his friend for crying out loud.

She had heard rumors of course, of the violence, of his temper and cruel tongue. She had even seen pictures of his victims, never truly believing it was real, that he was capable of that.

But seeing it with her own eyes was something else entirely.

* * *

She rolled over in her bed, glaring at the wall that humped with loud music and bodies, Rey growled loudly in her throat and flung her covers back.

She was wrapped in a large hoodie and sweats as she marched barefooted to the room next door, her brown hair a mess was thrown haphazardly into a bun atop her head as she attacked the door with her fist. She listened to the bodies move behind the door, the loud beat moving in tune with her elevated heart rate.

The plan was that she would rip the person a new orifice, and she would do it in such a disturbing way it would make the other partygoers think twice about showing up and being obnoxious on a Sunday night or maybe Monday morning before classes.

That was the plan anyway.

It didn't happen.

Because the person who opened the door was Kylo Ren, or better known to her, Ben Solo.

She stared openly at him, expression one of shock and anger and something else that made her stomach do things. Ben peered down at her, face, nose, and ears flushed with a buzz or maybe more. Regardless, his dark eyes heavy-lidded and messy hair had a domestic casualty that made Rey unprepared. And of course, the turn of events was just them staring dumbstruck at each other.

Then a blond bimbo wiggled in front of him and planted a sloppy kiss on his chin/jaw/lips. Rey was unsure of what area she was aiming for.

Rey cleared her throat, "Are you aware of what time it is?" Ben continued to blink at her, unaffected by the very drunk blonde. Rey sighed loudly and checked her phone, "It's fucking 3 am in the morning on a Monday, some of us have work and school in the morning, could you be so kind as to turn the music down?" She was condescending, in hindsight, maybe that was why he liked her so much.

"Not my party,"

"It's-that doesn't matter, get the guy who owns the apartment, I want to talk to him,"

"You're talking to him," He said slowly and Rey grimaced,

"But it's not your party?" He shrugged, clearly too intoxicated to follow what she was trying to communicate. Rey rolled her eyes back into her skull as if it would erase the situation from her mind. It didn't, and she let out an aggravated scoff.

She marched right past the towering shadow of Ben Solo and straight into the orgy like mass of moving bodies. Girls and guys alike sang loudly to the music, grinding and doing other things in the middle of the room. Furniture had all been pushed to the walls to make room for a dancefloor. The tile and carpet were wet with something, Rey wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was and tried to ignore the scent of beer, vodka, and ammonia.

She marched like a trooper in a war zone up to the half-assed set up for a DJ, and unplugged the speakers.

In one moment, she became enemy number one for a horde of half-dressed totally drunk zombified college students. Rey rolled up her sleeves and snarled, "Get the fuck out! My pop is chief of police and would do anything for his little girl! Unless all of you want to spend a night in jail get moving!"

People flooded from the apartment quickly, some girls flopped over and their friends struggled to drag them away.

It was emptied out in a solid two minutes, a new record for Rey. She sighed and clapped her hands together, stepping over the various abandoned cups and bottles, even discarded undergarments.

She didn't want to touch anything, but looking at the slumped figure of Ben against the door frame as his glazed eyes took in everything, she knew she couldn't leave him to do everything on his own, even if it was his party.

She dug through his cleaning cabinet, snapping on rubber blue gloves and shaking trash bags to life, she walked around wearing his flip flops she borrowed without asking and cleaned his apartment. Ben Solo peeled himself from the door frame to empty his stomach in his bathroom, and he joined her with a wet clean face and a sobered expression.

That was how she met Ben Solo officially.

* * *

When she started noticing the signs of his deterioration was on a Friday night, the day before Christmas on an off year where college got snowed in and the doors were frozen shut. It was a long break, it was why Rey was packing her shit to go see her foster parents for the holiday, they had expressed wanting to meet with her and discuss how her education was progressing.

She knew that Ben was out of town, as he had reluctantly mentioned having a Mother in the area that he should visit. She got the feeling he didn't want to go. She gave him her number and said to call her if he needed anything. Rey just didn't expect it to be in the middle of packing.

Her phone lit up, and she slid her thumb against the screen, "Hello?"

"Rey,' The voice was pained, scratchy, and almost hoarse, she didn't know it,

"This is she, who's calling?"

"Ben, Ben Solo," He cracked, her eyes widened and she stared at the darkening sky through her window,

"Ben!? Are you okay?"

"No, I need to get out of here,"

"Tell them I'm your girlfriend and I've called you because there's been an accident," It was a horrible lie, but people were more inclined to believe bigger lies than little ones. She heard him suck in a breath, he said nothing.

"Ben," She got his attention,

"Yeah? Yeah... I'm here,"

"Why don't you spend the holiday with me? I'm seeing my parents, they won't give you any trouble, and they're open to guests," She said this with a conviction, her foster parents were very kind and open-minded people. It surprised Rey that they didn't adopt more kids, taking into consideration their bleeding heart practices.

Ben sucked in a breath and sighed, voice cracking, "Yeah... Okay,"

"Great," Rey said tersely, "I'm still at the apartment, we can drive over there together,"

"I can do that," He affirmed, voice soft, dare she say weak.

He hung up on her, and during the drive north, he didn't tell her what happened, and she didn't ask.

* * *

Her father was the one to open the red wreathe adorned door, their black car sleek and salt-stained in the early evening. She glanced out the window past ben as she studied her old man, he was greying quickly and wearing his police coat to keep warm in the cold, she was surprised he was home for this holiday.

Rey glanced at Ben who sat very still beside her, staring at his hands gripping the steering wheel, Rey looked up and met his dark eyes with hers, "Ben?"

"Hmm?"

"You ready to go?" His dark eyes snapped to her face, black and devoid of light, shiny like a predator, soulless. She flinched and recoiled from him, reaching to the back seats to grab their stuff to spend the night, she didn't want to think about that look on his face. She wouldn't mention it to her parents or to him.

Walking up the drive was like a war zone, Rey slipped twice and fell into the arms of her laughing Father, who pushed his sharp mustache into the line of her hair, "Welcome home little star," Rey blushed and squeezed him in a hug, no one had called her that in a long time, her name, of course, referring to the sun.

She felt her Father look over her shoulder at the shadow lingering in the snow behind her, and she pulled back, turning her body toward Ben, an indescribable expression in his body and face, "Dad, this is Ben, he's a good friend of mine and didn't have anyone for the holiday," She explained, her father nodded and reached out to shake Ben's hand, a fight for dominance, Ben grimaced as his bones were crushed, "Welcome, my wife is inside warming some drinks, come on inside," He turned and disappeared into the warm glow of her childhood home.

Rey and Ben exchanged glances, and she led him inside, catching the look of envy and discomfort. She knew she was lucky as a kid to have been adopted by good people, but she didn't quite understand what Ben was going through.

Maybe she should have asked.

* * *

Her mother was a shapely woman with a bigger heart than anyone she's ever met, long blonde hair was tied into a braided bun, and she was nodding her head to a song only she could hear. But she turned quickly and her face lit up when she saw there were guests in her home.

"Rey!" She darted forward and threw her arms around her daughter, squeezing her too tightly, "Oh honey I'm so glad you could make it!" She pulled back and brushed some hair out of Rey's face, admiring her for a moment before her eyes landed on Ben.

Rey's mother sauntered over hands on her hips and a grin on her face, "Well now, Rey's never brought a boy home before, you must be special," She held out her hand as a greeting, "Satine Kenobi," She introduced,

"Ben Solo," He looked around the kitchen, "It smells amazing, what are you cooking?"

"Oh! A boy after my own heart! he cooks Rey! I like this one!" She scrunched her nose playfully at Rey and led Ben further into the domain, handing him a warm mug of cider.

Something in Rey tugged, seeing Ben become immersed in something so domestic, she stood there with a smile on her face while her Dad crept behind her.

He crossed his arms over his chest and watched the pair beside Rey, "So what happened?"

"It's not my place to say," She said softly,

"Should I be worried?" He raised a bronzed eyebrow at her,

"Not about me," She looked at him then, "He's okay Dad, he just needed a friend,"

"How's school going?"

"Good, I'm a little ahead on my assignments right now, some of my teachers are a pain,"

"Any boys I should know about?"

"Dad!"

* * *

Rey realized somewhere in the middle of eating that this was the most she had seen Ben eat. Her chest did a thing that made drinking her cider a little difficult. Ben was very protective of his plate like she was, she knew the signs of a defensive eater, and she wondered what caused him to act in such a way.

Her parents were having an interesting conversation about the springtime, and what they hoped to do to the house improvement wise, and then, suddenly, "Rey,"

"Yes?" She straightened and looked into the blue eyes of her mother,

"We want you to have the house,"

"What?" she was pretty sure she dropped her fork, vaguely aware of Ben's watchful gaze on her, "I can't do that,"

"Well, kiddo we aren't going to be around much longer and-"

"No!" Rey shouted, eyes wide at her own outburst, she knew this conversation was coming, she didn't think it would be so soon. Everyone was silent at the table, and Rey took a breath, "No, Dad you said you wanted to retire in the next ten years, why not settle here?"

"About that, I-"

"Your Father and I were hoping that you would be the one to settle here, Rey," She stared at them, they wanted her to stay in this town? Hadn't they always encouraged her to spread her wings in search of adventure? She felt so confused, she closed her eyes. The thought of them leaving her, the thought of their age and-and- _death_. Rey stood quickly and gathered her plate, "Thank you for the food," She said, and walked to the kitchen, around the corner and away from them.

She didn't hear Ben follow her.

She was scrubbing the plate with scalding water when he walked in, leaning against the counter next to her, facing her with his body. She could see him, sleeves pulled to his elbows, black sweater hugging his shoulders tightly, hair a mess. She bit her lip to suck down the tears and confusing feelings in her chest. Ben leaned forward, "Rey," She shut off the water and looked at him with blurry vision, "Rey maybe you should think about it,"

"They're suggesting I take the estate when they die," she looked at her red hands, she couldn't feel the sting of the water anymore.

"They're doing it because they love you," She nodded and felt a tear slip down her cheek, "They just want you to have something to fall back on,"

"But it's like they're asking me to stay here for the rest of my life-I can't-I want to see the world!" Ben pulled a face and looked down,

"They never said that though," He pointed out, "Rey, why not just take this, let them figure things out and you have an asset while you travel,"

"The house would just sit here if no one tends to it,"

"Then don't abandon it, yeah you should travel see the world, do what you love," He encouraged, and his voice was filled with a warmth that made her relax, "But at the same time, know that this is your childhood home, you shouldn't just leave it here," Rey stared at him, at his strong and angular face, at his now honey colored eyes, at the way his lips moved, she wondered, fleetingly, what they felt like.

She looked down at the sink and took in a deep breath, nodding to him, "You're right, I overreacted, they're just trying to look out for me," she turned and stepped into a hug, holding Ben tightly as she pressed her face into his worn sweater. He smelled good, "Thank you," She said, she felt him rest a hand on her shoulder before it slid around the back of her neck and pressed her harder into his chest. She could feel his lips in her hair.

* * *

Her parents sat very still beside each other at the table, holding hands atop the cloth, Satine Kenobi had moved closer to her husband to no doubt exchange words. They both looked up with worried but hopeful eyes when they re-entered the dining room.

Rey sighed and nodded, "Thank you," She said, "But I'm not ready for that kind of commitment right now,"

"Oh honey~"

"Rey we never meant right now," her father said, squeezing his wife's hand, "This will be later down the road when we are old and can't take care of this place on our own," Rey walked over quickly and slipped her arms around her parents.

She should have paid more attention to Ben in that moment, maybe she would have caught the look of hurt on his face.

* * *

Ben had trouble sleeping, she discovered that late into the night when his short scream echoed down her hall. She bolted up and stared at the door, knowing it wasn't from her parents as they were two stories above them, and she slid from the warmth of her bed.

Rey padded barefooted down the dark hallway to where his bedroom would be, she lifted her hand to knock when the door swung open, revealing a shirtless and clearly distraught. She was stuck on his bare chest for a moment too long before she looked up at him, a wordless exchange passing between them. Then she was let into his room as he walked back and sat on his bed, head in his hands. He was probably thinking of an explanation, "Ben, you don't have to talk about it," she told him, watching the relief wash over his face.

"Thank you,"

"Will you be able to sleep after this?"

"Probably not," He looked down at his hands, Rey walked closer, slipping her hand into his, and catching his attention. He stared up at her with big eyes, surprised and longing, Rey bit her lip.

He pulled her down, pressing her hands to his shoulder and lap, lips connecting roughly. Rey made a noise, shocked, eyes snapped shut.

It was everything she thought it would be, soft and hard at the same time, desperate and patient.

He pulled back suddenly, staring up at her in bewilderment, "I-" Then he stopped, swallowing, she watched his throat bob, "I'm sorry I shouldn't ha-" She pushed him back onto the bed, connecting their lips in a feverish kiss. She became aware that her legs were, in fact, bare, and his hands were impossibly warm on her skin. She straddled him, cupping his face and skimming her nails into his thick hair. He squeezed her ass and she gasped, he flipped them, invading her mouth, dominating her.

His body moved against hers and she was making noises she ought to be embarrassed by. His fingers hooked into the band of her panties, she heard the fabric rip and giggled. He smothered her with hot and heavy kisses, calloused and rough hands skimming up her sides, palming her breasts under her loose shirt. She arched, her hips pressing higher against him. He made a noise like a growl and stilled her movements, kissing down her neck and sucking, kissing and biting her shoulders while she reached down and freed him from his sleep trousers.

His hand snapped to her wrist and froze her, Rey stared up at him in confusion, watching as he took in her face, "I don't want you to regret this,"

"Will you?"

"No," He breathed, Rey smiled at him, and pulled him down for a gentle and soft kiss, slowly taking his lower lip between her teeth and pulling teasingly. His hands ran down the expanse of her body while she occupied his mouth, and they took their time exploring each other, it had switched from feverish fumbling to slow and methodic teasing. She didn't expect him to be so attentive, listening to her sounds, exploring her, mapping her body with his hands. His forehead pressed softly to hers when he entered her with a slow and steady thrust. Suddenly she was filled to the brim and trying to hold in her noises at the sensation.

His nose brushed hers, lips feathering over her face as he moved, Rey wondered if this was what it was like to make love. Where her heart felt so full and warm she almost wanted to cry, her skin buzzed with every hot touch, her mind blank and eyes seeing stars. With him, it was like she was tieing knots in string, and he had the know how to pull just one side and she unraveled.

Rey came quietly and suddenly around him, pressing her lips to his chest and shoulder, nails softly scraping his skin. He pulled from her quickly and grabbed his discarded shirt, gasping and releasing into it, watching her tremble with the aftereffects of his touch.

Slowly he pulled his pants back up and eyed her with a tenderness that made her blush. Slowly she sat up on her elbows and tilted her head, he joined her in the bed, and she crawled to curl against his side, tracing constellations in the beauty marks of his skin. He watched her until his breath evened out, and Rey got the best sleep of her life.

* * *

Walking upstairs in the morning, her parents were already up drinking coffee and watching the fire. The tree was decorated and gifts lay under it. Her father gave them a look, and Rey had the decency to blush before walking to the kitchen to grab some caf.

Ben was not so fortunate. The chief of police sized him up for a moment, silently regarding him, Ben looked down seemingly ashamed before her father spoke, "She's a hell of a girl Ben, and she seems to really like you if she brought you here," Ben looked up, surprised at the lack of scolding, "I love her dearly and she doesn't deserve any more shit than she's already got in life," Then the man clapped him on the shoulder and followed his daughter to the kitchen.

When Ben looked at Satine, he knew it was her he had to fear. She smiled sweetly at him and handed him two small boxes, "We didn't have much time to get these, your arrival was unexpected dear," Ben took them with caution and caught the icy look of death in the small woman's eyes. She smiled and whispered, "The law binds my husband from acting on impulse, but it doesn't prohibit me from making sure they never find your body," She affectionately touched his arm and smiled so big her eyes crinkled, "You'd better care for that girl as much as she cares for you,"

"Mom?" Rey walked into the room holding two mugs of steaming liquid, Satine looked up,

"We figured no one should go presentless on this day, so we got him some gifts,"

"Oh wow, that's really thoughtful of you, thank you," Rey said, Ben, stood very still, holding the mug Rey gave him, watching them all interact.

He wondered if she knew what her parents were capable of.

* * *

After the holiday Rey spent more time with Ben, at first she told herself it was because they were friends and they had done things in the dark that few would have suspected. The reality was that she saw him slip from reality in the quiet moments he thought he was alone.

The would be walking together or having an in-depth conversation when he'd suddenly get this very far away look. His eyes would get dark like they did in the car that day.

They'd have arguments about stupid things and he'd hit the wall. She wondered if she had fallen too deeply into something she couldn't get out of. she didn't know if she wanted to run. He never hurt her, she knew he wouldn't, it was more the destruction of himself.

One day he'd come back from his late job and looked too weary for her liking, she tried to suggest he drink some water and try to relax, she only got a snarl in return. Then he attacked the dishes, throwing his bag on the floor and doing the already clean dishes, scrubbing them with steaming hot water, the sound bothersome to her ears, her mind working over the obsessive-compulsive motions.

She walked around the small island to stand beside him, reaching over to rest her hand on his arm, "Ben stop,"

He threw the plate against the sink and it shattered, Rey jumped and yelped, staring wide-eyed at the plate and at him, "Ben," She breathed, taking in the blood on his arms, she ran for the first aid kit in the bathroom and pulled him to sit down. Knowing that he wasn't there enough with her. He continued to stare off into the distance as she bandaged him up.

When she was done she was on her knees on the carpet, looking up at him with wide eyes, "What happened?" He didn't answer.

It never happened again.

* * *

Rey knew that things were rough with his parents, and she understood by overhearing the conversations that he was envious of her relationship with her own parents. She never knew that taking him there would have been a bad thing. Inadvertently she had hurt him by trying to help.

It was an awful feeling.

Through the walls she listened to the yell fests, sometimes he got visitors, people she didn't recognize. Sometimes he listened to him throw things, hit walls, break his phone, he had gone through 4 in one month, she counted.

Rey never pressed him for information, she thought that he'd tell her when he was ready. She never considered that he needed her to ask.

* * *

She ran into one of his 'friends' while leaving to run some errands one night, a tall fellow, wearing all black, his pale skin practically glowing in the hallway, his cold eyes landed on her and he curled his lip as though she were a sewer rat. She glared at his stupid red hair and then at him when he wouldn't move out of the way for her to get to the stairs, "Excuse me," She huffed, gripping the strap to her bag, the ginger sneered at her,

"You're the neighbor,"

"And?" She asked, frowning at where he might have been taking the conversation.

"You've been seen in the company of Kylo Ren, I advise you stay out of his life," Her skin grew heated,

"And just who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?" He smirked at her, blue eyes sharpening to lethality,

"Armitage Hux, I'm a... Personal consultant to Ren, you seem to be distracting him from the important goals we've set," He tilted his head mockingly at her, "You're getting in the way of Ren's success, you wouldn't want him to fail would you?" She grit her teeth, she didn't believe this snake for one second. She was about to rip him open when Ben's door slid open.

She stared at him.

He looked like shit.

Ben glanced between the two of them, grimacing before nodding to Hux, "Come in," He said, opening the door wider. Hux smirked at her as he walked in. Rey glanced at Ben, at his messy hair, at the bruises under his eyes, at his split lip, at the mess of his apartment.

He shut the door in her face.

* * *

Ben was the one to come to her that night, looking worse for wear and slightly intoxicated, she could smell it on his breath. He looked ashamed but pushed his way into her apartment. Rey gave him a glass of water, he drank half before wordlessly undressing her, kissing her, trying to turn her on.

It did the trick, but Rey was too distracted by his mental state to fully enjoy his body moving against hers.

When he was asleep, she was sitting up in the bed, staring at the light of the moon on the sheets. She didn't know if she could do it, not knowing, she wanted to help him, she wanted him to be okay. His involvement with these strangers only made her distrustful and anxious. She needed to talk to him.

* * *

She made him some breakfast, eggs, some breakfast meats, and potatoes. She set the plate down in front of him as he sat silently at her coffee table, watching her with a curious and tired expression. She cut the burners after making a plate for herself, she moved over and sat across from him, "You're not hungry?"

"You don't usually cook breakfast,"

"You came in pretty rough last night," Rey started, sipping her almond milk, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really?" he said, and a large part of her wanted to abide by his wishes, to let him eat and deal with this the way he had been, alone.

"I can't keep pretending there's nothing going on," She stated, and he stopped eating. He looked up at her, "What is it that you do late at night? Is it something illegal is it drugs?"

"No!"

"Then what is it? What are you hiding from me?"

"You never had any interest before! Why question me now?" It was almost like a slap to the face,

"I never asked because I thought you'd tell me when you were ready!"

"It doesn't concern you," He hissed,

"The hell it does, you used me last night! I'm your fucking girlfriend!"

"You're just a good fuck, Rey!" He yelled, Rey stopped, staring wide-eyed at him for what felt like the thousandth time. If she weren't so angry she would have cried,

"I've always been there for you, whenever you needed me or anything at all I was fucking there," She frowned, "If all I am is a good lay, fine, but I was your friend first and you've been lying to me," He said nothing and her voice got tight, so soft it was only a whisper, "Oh God... Is that really what you think of me?"

He looked horrified for a moment before glaring at her, "How does it feel to be put in your place?"

"Oh Fuck you!"

"No fuck you! You don't have any business asking me questions!"

"I don't want to see you hurt! I'm a part of your life I have-"

"Maybe you shouldn't be," He said, and Rey stood up, glaring hard at him, willing a hole to burn into his forehead,

"You won't tell me what to do Ben Solo, so suck it the fuck up and let me help you,"

"I don't need your fucking help, I don't want it!"

"You think you can lie to my face?" She was inches away from him now, "You think I don't hear the yelling the shit breaking? Is it your family? Are they giving you shit? Or that Hux guy-"

"Shut up! Just shut-up!" He stood quickly and pushed her back with his body, "You're nothing to me! Do you understand? You're nothing! So mind your goddamn business and keep your mouth shut!" She was pressed back into her window, the air still cold outside and making her back get cold in turn. Her face was hot and wet with tears and she gave in to a choked sob. She slid back against the wall and cried, watching him steam with anger and perhaps guilt,

"Leave," she whispered, He froze, eyes wide this time, and he reached for her. Rey recoiled violently, slapping his hand away and pushing him, "I'm nothing!?" She screamed at him, she pushed him again, "I'm fucking nothing but a slut for you Ben Solo!?" She cried harder, falling to her knees in a pathetic heap,

"Rey,"

"Leave!" He lingered, "Get the fuck out of my life!" She screamed louder than she ever had. He was out the door faster than she could haul air into her lungs. She clutched her chest and sobbed openly.

* * *

She didn't see or hear much of Ben Solo next door after that. It seemed like he was doing what she asked.

She heard about him from her friends, about the women he would take home, about his shady business after hours, about the wild parties and how shit faced he got. She heard about the fights, she saw pictures. She didn't think she'd see it for herself.

* * *

Early spring came around with freezing rain and freezing nighttime breezes, with that came the storms, came the black ice.

She saw him again, drunk and angry and speaking with an older man, a man who was clearly as unhappy to see him. She watched in horror as Ben hit him, and then hit him again, beat him into the ground really. Rey yelled and ran forward as other guys rushed from the building to pull Ben off of the older guy. He was thrashing around like an animal, growling and kicking and biting.

Then he saw her, and he stopped, an instant calm washing over his body and he was thrown against his car. She watched him go, watched him run and fumble with his keys and speed away.

She approached the man on the ground, helping him to his feet and staring in horror at the extent of his wounds.

His nose must have been broken, his lips were bloody and broken, his teeth glinting with red. His eyebrow was busted and swollen, face covered in all colors of bruises. He limped when he walked and hissed if he tried to stand up straight. He was pretty sure his hand was broken. Maybe his arm too. Rey only watched as the man, now crippled, stumbled to his car.

He was very lucky to be alive.

Rey went home quickly, avoiding the storm that had collected since the early morning, her eyes trained on the window as rain poured down. She couldn't shake the feeling of wrongness in her chest.

She didn't expect the phone call, she reached down and swiped the screen with her thumb, furrowing her brows, "Dad?"

"Rey are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she looked around her apartment, "Why what's wrong?"

"There's been an accident," he said, her heart stopped,

"Who?"

"It's Ben."

* * *

Rey had never gotten any speeding tickets, she was generally a very good driver, but she pushed 95 on a 45 mph zone and felt her car whip around corners a little too much.

She arrived as soon as she could, not bothering to lock or shut her door as she jumped out of her car and ran to the group of police and emergency servicemembers. They tried to stop her, holding out their arms, "I have to see him!" She screamed, frantic, afraid, "Dad!"

The man in question ran over and waved her through, letting her fall into his arms, "Where is he?!" She demanded, staring up into the sad eyes of her father. He said nothing, and her stomach dropped. She shook her head, tasting the salt of her tears as she pushed past her father, she ran to the upturned car, the one that was so banged up it looked like a crumpled piece of paper. She barely registered the cracking of ice and glass under her shoes.

She saw the blood first, her breath grew shallow and frantic, she searched, another car, a truck really was better for wear but the driver suffered a broken arm. Then she saw it, EMT had pulled a body from the wreckage, dressed in all black on the side of the road.

Unmoving.

Rey ran and slipped down to her knees, ignoring the bite of the ground, "Ma'am you can't be here!"

"I'm family! I'm certified CPR!" She yelled getting her hands on him.

He was wearing that black sweater from Christmas, and the watch that her dad had given him in the same day. He looked almost peaceful, lying there in the darkness, his face was covered in the coppery crimson of blood, she cupped his face, his neck and chest ripped open. EMT cut open his shirt, Rey leaned over him, shaking him slightly, "Ben," She squeaked through her tears, her fingers gripped his hair, nails scraping blood from his scalp, "Ben!" She cried,

EMT worked tirelessly on the chest compressions, when they went through three, the word 'defib' was shouted. Rey was pulled back from him, a blanket thrown around her shoulders, a bottle of water handed to her.

She watched as they continued to try and start his heart.

"Clear!" She watched as his body arched, listened as the voltage traveled. Nothing.

"Increase by 20 joules!" He rubbed the machine pads together, "Clear!" the shock. Nothing.

"Increase by 20 joules!" He leaned over, "Clear!" Nothing.

"Sir!"

"One more!"

The charge came, her mind was slipping, her body empty, Rey held her breath.

A beep.

"We have a pulse!" he shouted orders to several members of the ambulance.

Rey rushed back over to him, "Ben!?" She touched his face, "Ben!" She yelled, she saw him breathe in, and then saw the burn marks. She bit her lip, looking up to the man that saved his life, "Can I ride with you?"

* * *

He was in the hospital for five days medically induced coma. Rey didn't leave his side unless to use the bathroom.

Her studies were slipping, the nurses all gave her this sympathetic look she wasn't sure to be grateful for or to get angry with them. Her parents stopped in a few times, mostly to check on her, her father explained the situation, that Ben was most likely under the influence of something or in great distress. The other driver was fine, but Ben's vehicle had been searched and they discovered an illegal substance that he was most likely trafficking.

Rey just nodded to most of the information, understanding that when he woke up, he would to jail for a while after he healed.

She nodded because she couldn't do what she really wanted, she couldn't scream at him about how much of an idiot he was.

Rey was there for a full week before he woke up.

He eyes had fluttered, she was by the bedside, leaning over her arms and watching his chest move up and down. Her hand was clasped tightly around his.

"Rey," He whispered, voice a rasp and hiss, slowly, she looked up, thinking she'd imagined it again. His eyes were just barely open, trained on her, soft and surprised, "Rey," He said again, softer, tears spilled down her face quickly, and she squeezed his hand,

"Hey," He swallowed thickly, very drowsy, heavily influenced by the drugs in his system,

"Hi," He said to her, twitching his fingers in her grip, she laced them together, letting him squeeze her, "You look terrible," Rey laughed, she laughed because he was here with her, laughed because she hadn't in so long, because he said the strangest thing to her.

"I'm not the only one," She told him, "You got pretty messed up," He closed his eyes if he could nod he would have. She bit her lip, "They found drugs in the trunk of your car," His eyes opened, and she couldn't say any more than that.

"I'm going away for a while,"

"Yes," she affirmed, frowning at the white bed sheets, silence fell between them, it stretched on so long Rey wondered if he fell asleep.

"Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you," She bit her lip to stop the tears, she nodded against his hand, "Will you wait for me?"

"I will," She sniffled, looking up at him, she could hear him fading fast in the way he talked, "I'll be here when you come back," She almost saw a smile, but realized that he had fallen back asleep. She sighed and stood up, walking to the door and leaving the room. She leaned against the door and smiled blearily down at her feet. He was okay.

* * *

He was sentenced to two years, the benefit was that he had cooperated with the police and answered all and any questions they had. apparently Ben was under an alias known as Kylo Ren working for a local drug ring, few people knew him as Kylo, so the name fit. The man that Rey had a nasty run-in with was known as Armitage Hux, blackmailer extraordinaire, very intelligent, very slippery. Their leader, a grotesque man named Snoke, ran all the day to day operations and was sitting on a large sum of cash. They happened to have an address, and Rey's father and a team were able to get the jump on Snoke's dealings, he would be in prison for a long time.

Rey finished her schooling and helped tend to her parent's house, working two jobs to save up for a trip she wanted to take in the future, her resume floating around in the aeronautical engineering database. And she waited, just like she promised.

What her father didn't tell her about Ben's sentence was the parole opportunity.

Rey had been in the kitchen with her mother, talking about a new recipe for dinner when the bell chimed for the door. Rey shot a glance to her mother, who shrugged and motioned for her to go get it as she continued cutting vegetables.

Rey moved softly and lightly through the house, glancing at the blur of a figure through the styled side windows. She opened the door slowly, freezing and squinting in the bright light of day.

Then she saw the dark halo of messy black hair, and then the scarred face of Ben Solo, standing there with a duffel bag and a smile.

Rey surged forward, jumping into his arms and laughing, "You're out early!"

"I may or may not have been a good boy this past year," She smiled at him, her hands cupping his face, nails gently scraping his scalp behind his ears, his hair soft on her fingertips. His own hands raised and cupped her face, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers, breathing her in.

Slowly and softly he kissed her, a tentative touch of their lips, he pulled back too soon for Rey, his lips just barely touching hers, he whispered to her.

"I'm home."

* * *

 _Hello, this is a parting gift for you guys, my time here with this one-shot series was short and I don't want this to be the end, and I have lots of ideas and would love to put them on this site but I won't be around to do it. I'm being deployed and won't be back for some time, but your continued support has warmed my soul and I thank you all for it._


End file.
